


Left behind

by ennychan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Depression, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 19:43:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9199718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ennychan/pseuds/ennychan
Summary: Hinata's boyfriend has moved to a school in Tokyo, leaving him all alone in his darkness.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Idea from this amazing list;  
> http://kvotheunkvothe.tumblr.com/post/79822766375/the-ultimate-angst-prompt-list  
> And props to this picture for giving me motivation and inspiration;  
> https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ca/29/c3/ca29c307d851e93b4af4dc3e192e15c9.jpg  
> https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ce/a6/a5/cea6a51e2d80bed925f38abbff386f02.jpg  
> Also this song:  
> https://youtu.be/czghb8RB-eE

 

 Hinata shut the bedroom door shut behind him, and collapsed behind it. Everything was falling apart around him. It had started a while before his first year ended. He had been out on a date with Wakatoshi, there he'd been spotted by a group of guys from his middle school. Specifically, the group who used to bully and torment him. They had followed them around and then ambushed him when he parted ways with his boyfriend. The harassment got better and decreased for a while, after he'd told Ushijima. Then he went and moved to Tokyo to go to university, and the bullies came back instantly. They'd come in big groups and surround him, beat him to a pulp and rape him, finish their business and leave. They always dragged him out into the forest, so no one could see his shameful self, or save him. He couldn't tell anyone. He didn't want to reveal his own pathetic self. He felt like he'd been backed into a corner, he didn't know what to do to escape. There was only one thing, and it'd plagued his thoughts for a long time. He'd try to ignore the dark thoughts at first, but now, they'd started to swallow him whole. He looked at the digital clock at his bed.

5:13PM.

"I wonder if Ushijima would answer if I call him now?" He thought to himself. He felt like he needed to talk to someone, fast, and his boyfriend was the only one he could come up with, that he'd feel comfortable talking to. He took his flip phone out of his mud drained bag. He dialed his number. One, two, three, four, five. Voicemail. "Hi Ushi. Could you please call me up when you get this? Thanks... Bye." He said and hung up, feeling defeated. He decided to go through his old text messages with his boyfriend, cause he'd probably call him soon, right?

5:26PM.

Feelings of choking. It was like he could barely breathe. Reading the messages hadn't helped at all. He laid the phone down on the floor and lifted himself up. Walking towards his window, he managed to open it and shoved his head outside, gasping deeply. It felt like he was exploding. Could he really do this? Could he really keep on going? He stood there, just listening. The sound of the wind, his heavy breathing, cicadas making noises. He went back to his phone, and stared at it. He knew it wouldn't help, but it didn't hurt trying to make it call. He called Ushijima once again. Voicemail. "I'm sorry, I just... I have to get this off of my chest. I can't deal with all of this anymore. It's too much, and you're not here. I'm all alone in this darkness. It's filling up every single bit of my life. I can barely pretend to be cheerful in school anymore. Someone has surely became aware already." He hung up. He could feel the tears forming in his eyes. He was scared. He was scared that if he told anyone, if he told Ushijima, he would loose his respect and love. Surely, no one would want to be close to him, when they realized how broken, dirty and used he was.

5:32PM.

"It's me again. I know that you'll never be able to look at me with anything but disgust if I tell you this, but I don't plan on taking it to my grave. Those bullies I told you about? Yeah, those ones. They've been plaguing me since about you left me now. They ambush me. They-", he choked up a bit. "They, they raped me. They would ambush me, drag me out into the woods, a-and do stuff to me. I have a  **lot** of bruises. The nurse suspended me from P.E. and club activities for a while, so I don't think anyone has seen them. Well, the nurse didn't either. It was only because I fainted and I've been losing weight." He chuckled a little, nervously. "I don't really feel like losing this happiness that you've blessed me with. So, the only solution I can see is to bottle it up and keep it like that, forever. If we end it now, it can't get any worse and it can't get any better, right?" He smiled to himself. "I have some business to prepare, so I'll call in a bit." He hung up.

5:48PM.

"Hi. I'm back. I found a rope in our garage. I also watched a tutorial on how to tie it properly so every thing is done and ready. It's just this last message left. Or wait, no, I've still got to write something for mom, Natsu and everyone else. I mean it's not like I could tell them all of it directly. They would just try to help me, but I know that there's no way to save me. And I've accepted that. I-I really loved you, you know? I still love you. From the bottom of my broken heart. I wish I could've followed you to Tokyo. I wish you hadn't left me. I wish I could've been a part of your future. You were the best thing that could've ever happened to me. I felt like I was on cloud 9 when we started dating, and whenever I was around you, or even thinking of you. I still have your Shiratorizawa jacket. I'm wearing it right now. It's the only thing left of you that can bring me comfort. I hope this doesn't set you back. I hope for you to find happiness and success. To find a beautiful wife that you will love as much as she loves you. Your children will truly be beautiful and you will be such a good father, teaching them volleyball, spoiling them rotten. I can picture it in front of me." He sniveled and brushed away the tears that had gathered. "I'm sorry Wakatoshi. I'm so sorry. I love you. So. Much. I'll be able to fly now. This is the last time I'll call you. Goodbye, my one true love." He muted the phone and threw it away. Wrapping the jacket tightly around him, he stepped up on the chair that was placed under the noose. He looked at the poster that Yachi had created in their first year, for when they had gone to Nationals, and smiled. He'd finally get the wings that he'd always wished for, he thought as he secured the noose around  his neck and kicked the chair down from under him.

* * *

 

"Good work today, everyone!" Yelled Coach and Ushijima made his way to the locker room with his team mates. The locker room was like any locker room. Gray lockers where they kept their belongings, pale plaster walls and a blue stone floor. "It must have been renovated recently, or be maintained very goodly" Ushijima thought to himself, as it was a very high quality room. "Some of us are going to go and grab a bite after this, wanna join us, Ushiwaka?" Kuroo asked him. He just gave him a silent nod, feeling very unsettled all of a sudden. When he had changed he followed the others, including Kuroo, Bokuto and Oikawa, to the restaurant. When they arrived at the small place, they were welcomed by the staff, as well as Iwaizumi and Sawamura who went to a different university than the others. During dinner he talked to Sawamura and Iwaizumi, since they were the calmest ones in the group. "So how are things at Karasuno?" Iwaizumi asked Sawamura, and he sighed. "A bit so-so I believe. The 2nd- sorry I meant the 3rd years seem to be as lively as usual, but Suga told me that Ennoshita was worried about Hinata." This made Ushijima freeze up a bit, though not very noticeably. "How so?" He asked casually. "Apparently he seems pretty down, and keeps messing up during practice." Iwaizumi poked Sawamura playfully, probably to lighten the mood a bit. "I bet Kageyama's not too happy about that, huh?" Which made Sawamura chuckle a bit. Then they were interrupted by the now drunk Oikawa, whom threw himself onto Iwaizumi. Soon enough they left the restaurant and went their separate ways. 

As soon as he'd enter his apartment he threw off his jacket and went to charge his phone, who'd ran out of battery, during practice probably. When the phone finally starts up he gets notified that Hinata had tried to call him multiple times, and that he had 3 voice mails. When he listened to them, Hinata's frail and frantic voice shaked him to the core. Never had he ever heard his voice so broken and full of despair. "Wakatoshi-kun. I'm sorry. I can't take it anymore. I love you so much. Good bye." Those were the last words in the voice mail. He frantically buttoned in Hinata's number multiple times but there was never an answer. Panic struck him. What did he-- no, Ushijima couldn't think of what he meant. He didn't want to know what he meant. As he took all his necessary belongings and got dressed he called Sawamura. "Ushijima? What is it? We met just now didn't we?" Sawamura asked him. "Sawamura-san please. I need someone to go and check up on Hinata. I'm on my way to take a train down to Miyagi right now, but I don't want him to be alone right now. I couldn't reach his phone." He hurriedly said as he walked out on the street. "Wait a minute. What? You're on your way to Miyagi? Now?!" He asked surprised. He took a deep breath, before starting again. "Shouyou called me whilst my phone was off, and it sounded like he wasn't in a very good place." Ushijima said, trying not to say as much as possible. "Oh, um, yeah, sure. I'll call Kageyama to go visit him. Will it be okay with school and such though? For you I mean?" He could hear someone in the background asking what was going on, he guessed it was his boyfriend, that (used to be) third year setter who was very close with Sawamura. "Yes. I just ask this of you. I have to stop now though. I'm about to enter the train station. He said, feeling how the stress was breaking out inside of him. "Okay, yeah, I'll call Kageyama now. I'll text you if I find out something." After that they said their hurried goodbyes and hung up. He purchased his ticket, and lucky enough, he didn't have to wait too long before the train came and picked him up. 

* * *

 

Kageyama had been called up by his old senpai from the volleyball club, who was now studying in Tokyo, a late evening. He had asked him to go to Hinata's, his team mate, house and check up on him. Not being told that many details except calling Sawamura-senpai when he'd visited was essential. So now he stood outside the porch of his friend, waiting for someone to open door. A while after he'd rung the bell a small girl with burning orange hair in two small pigtails opened up. "Hi Natsu, is Shouyou in?" He asked her. She looked up and smiled brightly at him. "Un, Nii-chan is in his room." She then lead him in through the house. Kageyama went up to Hinata's door and knocked. "Hinata, you in there?" No response. He knocked again, still no response. Running out of patience after a few knocks, he opened the door and what awaited him there made him glad it had been him and not Natsu who opened the door. Hurriedly, he entered and closed the door. Sliding down the door in shock, he looked at what was in front of him. There, hanging from a noose tied around the roof lamp, was Hinata, or more appropriately Hinata's body. He cautiously walked up to the corpse, and took a hold of his wrist, desperately trying to find a pulse. But he knew there was none. His face was pale and lifeless, there was no sign of the cheerful boy Kageyama played volleyball with. After pulling himself together, he exits the room, making sure he closed it. Walking into the living room where Natsu was sitting and watching TV, he looked around, searching for Hinata's mother. "Uhm, Natsu, is your mother home?" He asked, when he couldn't see her around. "Mama's out buying food. Where is Nii-chan?" She said. "He's resting in his room. Would you mind if you called your mother for me? I have to talk to her." She pointed at a piece of paper on the table with a phone number on it. He pulled out his phone and dialed the number on the paper. "Hinata-san? This is Hi- I mean Shouyou's friend, Kageyama." He said when it went through. "Kageyama-kun? What's wrong?" He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes at the sound of the caring mother, and went away from where Natsu was. "Is it possible for y-you to come home right now? It's Shouyou, he's han-", his voice started trembling as he went on. "I'm coming right away." She said and hung up. He collapsed against the wall in the hallway. Hinata wasn't here anymore.

* * *

 

 

Ushijima fell to the ground. He couldn't believe what was going on in front of him. He didn't  **want** to believe. Surely, this wasn't Hinata's house. Surely, it wasn't his boyfriend's body they'd driven off with in that white ambulance van. It wasn't Hinata's best friend standing there, being interrogated by the police. He saw Natsu standing next to a neighbor, guessing Hinata's mother was in that ambulance with her son. He saw Natsu running over to him and waved to her. "Waka-niichan, what are you doing here?" She asked him as she hugged him. In his eyes he had a fairly good relationship with his boyfriend's little sister. She would play with him if he ever came over, playing with his hair, climbing on him when he helped Hinata study and she would give Ushijima lessons on how to treat her "Nii-chan" correctly, with a lot of love and hugs. "I'm here to visit Shouyou. Do you know where he is?" He asked, smiling. He was sure she wouldn't know what was going on, since she was so young. "Mama and Nii-chan left in that ambulance car. Oba-san said Nii-chan wasn't feeling well so he had to go to the doctor. I don't really understand." She said and frowned. He saw the neighbor and Hinata's friend, Kageyama, approaching them. "Ushijima-san", Kageyama said. "Can you tell me the details, everything you know?" He said, having no time to spare. "Uh, yeah sure, but let's move a bit." He said gesturing towards Natsu, and Ushijima nodded and they walked from the older woman and Natsu. "Hinata was hanging in his room. He had tied a rope around his ceiling lamp, and yeah... They found his phone on the floor and he had left the window open, so it was very icy in his room. You should talk to the police too, since you were dating and all..." Kageyama finally trailed off. They said their goodbye's and Kageyama walked towards a woman whom looked very much alike him, and fell into her arms, sobbing quietly on her shoulder whilst she rubbed his back. Ushijima went over and sat down on the front porch. His partner, his love, the sun who shined down on his life. He was gone. He wouldn't come back. He couldn't come back. He had been left behind. Just like he'd left Hinata behind to got to school and for his career. A single sob escaped his throat.

He would never see the sun again.


End file.
